I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The uberlube is also flammable
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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