I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
