): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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