Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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