yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
