You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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