If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
