is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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