she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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