i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
