Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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