Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
They are going to name an STD after you.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
