I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Dick very happy bro
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
