R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
