My hand turned me down
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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