sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
