whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize