somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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