My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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