I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
soo... how was my night?
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