Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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