Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Found your dick twin last night
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You're breaking my sexual little heart
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