If i come over, it means nothing
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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