I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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