is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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