Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
