He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
