all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
