I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
