Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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