she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
