do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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