During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
