I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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