So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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