i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize