ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
