Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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