If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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