it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Green mimosas i think yes
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize