they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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