Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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