i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
