Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize