i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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