So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I've blown a few things in my day
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
