great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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