Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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