It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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