Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
