So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
