When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
