he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
