Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
