It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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