It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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