Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
smell my finger.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i've created a new STD.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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