I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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