bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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