Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(410): View more from Maryland

Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy

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(432): View more from Texas

He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"

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(417): View more from Missouri

i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.

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(303): View more from Colorado

i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.

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(530): View more from California

We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.

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(303): View more from Colorado

No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.

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