I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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