I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
