why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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