your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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