Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
