Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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