i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
This girl is more easily done than said...
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
