Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
