My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
