hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
