Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
