Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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