I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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