he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
