would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
