In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
