I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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